Give respect and gain respect. | World Defense

Give respect and gain respect.

Joe Shearer

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These are my personal views, and I have discussed this directly with one other, indirectly with another.

Many of us have come here after going through a bad experience elsewhere, where there were members whose personal affiliations, or self-selected loyalties made them insufferable. There was personal attack, trolling, bad language and criticism of each other's religion, nationality, social situation and ethnic type. It was sickening. So far, we have been fortunate here, with every member exercising self-control, showing, incidentally, that the kind of stupidity we have seen elsewhere is certainly not inevitable. The administration also has been scrupulously careful to ensure that no bad feeling towards each other gets started, and that no negative behaviour goes unchecked.

This brings up an important question.

We are many of us members of some of the poorest and most backward nations in the world. Our societies are not morally or ethically sufficiently developed, even now. There are huge crimes that occur on a daily basis in all of South Asia. The question is: to avoid giving offence to each other, should we sweep these under the carpet?

The most reasonable answer seems to be that it should be left to our individual consciences to report these crimes and to take up social issues relating to our own country and within that, relating to our own religion, language, or ethnicity. We Indian members should be first in reporting the shortcomings of Indian society, and we should not take advantage of others not mentioning it out of delicacy to sweep these under the carpet. Conversely, we should scrupulously avoid raking up Pakistan-related issues, and severely avoid any hint of denigrating others through our posts and replies.

I would expect the same self-restrained behaviour from other friends on the forum. We have lived through a horrible experience, let us not let such behaviour take roots here.

This is a sincere request; we owe it to our administrators to honour their scrupulous management of affairs, we should not let them down and start posting belligerent posts against other countries and members from other countries. It is visible for all to see what the results of that kind of bad-tempered bickering can be.
 

I.R.A

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The question is: to avoid giving offence to each other, should we sweep these under the carpet?

The meanings of nationalism and nationalist / patriotic, loyalists ..... as understood and practiced in our societies are severely distorted ........ we are respected Nationalist, loyalists, faithful when we despite millions of faults, think and imagine "Saray Jahan say achaaaa ....... (I will leave the the blanks to be filled by readers, with their own appropriate choices) " ...... talk about faults of your place and society and you are one hypocrite who needs to be hanged in a public square ....... the courage is in accepting your faults and struggling to correct them .............

Lighter posts should be allowed and accepted with open hearts and minds (to some extent), it would help build friendship and more open relation between opposing posters .......
 

Hithchiker

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These are my personal views, and I have discussed this directly with one other, indirectly with another.

Many of us have come here after going through a bad experience elsewhere, where there were members whose personal affiliations, or self-selected loyalties made them insufferable. There was personal attack, trolling, bad language and criticism of each other's religion, nationality, social situation and ethnic type. It was sickening. So far, we have been fortunate here, with every member exercising self-control, showing, incidentally, that the kind of stupidity we have seen elsewhere is certainly not inevitable. The administration also has been scrupulously careful to ensure that no bad feeling towards each other gets started, and that no negative behaviour goes unchecked.

This brings up an important question.

We are many of us members of some of the poorest and most backward nations in the world. Our societies are not morally or ethically sufficiently developed, even now. There are huge crimes that occur on a daily basis in all of South Asia. The question is: to avoid giving offence to each other, should we sweep these under the carpet?

The most reasonable answer seems to be that it should be left to our individual consciences to report these crimes and to take up social issues relating to our own country and within that, relating to our own religion, language, or ethnicity. We Indian members should be first in reporting the shortcomings of Indian society, and we should not take advantage of others not mentioning it out of delicacy to sweep these under the carpet. Conversely, we should scrupulously avoid raking up Pakistan-related issues, and severely avoid any hint of denigrating others through our posts and replies.

I would expect the same self-restrained behaviour from other friends on the forum. We have lived through a horrible experience, let us not let such behaviour take roots here.

This is a sincere request; we owe it to our administrators to honour their scrupulous management of affairs, we should not let them down and start posting belligerent posts against other countries and members from other countries. It is visible for all to see what the results of that kind of bad-tempered bickering can be.
Totally agree...But as a student eager to learn we can post about other country affairs to increase our knowledge and debate but definitely not with bad or ill intentions..
 

Joe Shearer

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Totally agree...But as a student eager to learn we can post about other country affairs to increase our knowledge and debate but definitely not with bad or ill intentions..
Yes and no.

Some years ago, when PakTeaHouse was drowning under the flood of filth unloaded by Indian rabble-rousing bhakts, some of us withdrew in disgust, rather as we have done more recently from another unfortunate Pakistani forum that was a consolation and a haven for some of us earlier. When we withdrew, two Indians and a Pakistani, if you pardon these labels, started a conversation. This very unlikely three-way conversation between a California-resident 'mechanised' Sardar, a hopelessly optimistic Bengali Hindu and a brilliant young Pashtun electronics engineer settled in the UK developed into a twelve-person mailing list, with six Pakistanis and six Indians.

In the early days, Gorki and I had the greatest difficulty persuading Bloody Civilian that he could say what he wanted, and we wouldn't take umbrage. It was a long time before he could bring himself to say the mildest thing that might be construed as negative, without a swarm of apologies and humble disclaimers before and after it. But when he got into his stride, after he began to trust us to listen without taking offence, and to respond without attacking, he flowered. I wish I could reproduce some of his posts. His exposition of certain doctrinal aspects of Islam were striking; other members tested these out with very well-read maulvis and got back unqualified praise for the soundness of the discourse. And that was not all. He was left-liberal, several positions to my left, even to Gorki's, and his social position was progressive and pure as driven snow.

The point is that what you are talking about takes time. What you seek is best put to trusted other members through PM or through external mail; over here, in a broad forum, I might let something pass that deeply offends another; I might say something innocuous that my bizarre English (@jbgt90 insults me at least once a day calling it flowery English; I don't know how to stop this damn bush flowering) enrages someone else.

Festina lente, Sir, abstain from beans.

BTW, if either of you asked 'awkward' questions, I wouldn't take offence; it depends on the person asking, not on what is asked. There are others, too, but naming people means NOT naming other people and that might not be the right thing to do. That is exactly what our government in India has been doing, and I have no intention of reproducing their stupidity here.
 

Hithchiker

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Yes and no.

Some years ago, when PakTeaHouse was drowning under the flood of filth unloaded by Indian rabble-rousing bhakts, some of us withdrew in disgust, rather as we have done more recently from another unfortunate Pakistani forum that was a consolation and a haven for some of us earlier. When we withdrew, two Indians and a Pakistani, if you pardon these labels, started a conversation. This very unlikely three-way conversation between a California-resident 'mechanised' Sardar, a hopelessly optimistic Bengali Hindu and a brilliant young Pashtun electronics engineer settled in the UK developed into a twelve-person mailing list, with six Pakistanis and six Indians.

In the early days, Gorki and I had the greatest difficulty persuading Bloody Civilian that he could say what he wanted, and we wouldn't take umbrage. It was a long time before he could bring himself to say the mildest thing that might be construed as negative, without a swarm of apologies and humble disclaimers before and after it. But when he got into his stride, after he began to trust us to listen without taking offence, and to respond without attacking, he flowered. I wish I could reproduce some of his posts. His exposition of certain doctrinal aspects of Islam were striking; other members tested these out with very well-read maulvis and got back unqualified praise for the soundness of the discourse. And that was not all. He was left-liberal, several positions to my left, even to Gorki's, and his social position was progressive and pure as driven snow.

The point is that what you are talking about takes time. What you seek is best put to trusted other members through PM or through external mail; over here, in a broad forum, I might let something pass that deeply offends another; I might say something innocuous that my bizarre English (@jbgt90 insults me at least once a day calling it flowery English; I don't know how to stop this damn bush flowering) enrages someone else.

Festina lente, Sir, abstain from beans.

BTW, if either of you asked 'awkward' questions, I wouldn't take offence; it depends on the person asking, not on what is asked. There are others, too, but naming people means NOT naming other people and that might not be the right thing to do. That is exactly what our government in India has been doing, and I have no intention of reproducing their stupidity here.
So lets say ,member from India can/could or should post news + or - but IF he required the opinion across the borders then others should indulge until we reach the "best" scenario where mutual understanding is seen without spoken
 

Khafee

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So lets say ,member from India can/could or should post news + or - but IF he required the opinion across the borders then others should indulge until we reach the "best" scenario where mutual understanding is seen without spoken
I think the best thing to do is to appreciate each others +ve's and leave out the -ve's. We all have our faults, and we all lead stressful lives, sometimes someones well intentioned post, can sound like an insult, because he is from the other side of the border, and things spiral downwards.

To have abused, called names, hurt the other person on an online forum, achieves exactly what? Noting! EXCEPT, reinforce a stereotype.
 

Hithchiker

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I think the best thing to do is to appreciate each others +ve's and leave out the -ve's. We all have our faults, and we all lead stressful lives, sometimes someones well intentioned post, can sound like an insult, because he is from the other side of the border, and things spiral downwards.

To have abused, called names, hurt the other person on an online forum, achieves exactly what? Noting! EXCEPT, reinforce a stereotype.
Agree this only adds negativity to own self
 

Joe Shearer

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So lets say ,member from India can/could or should post news + or - but IF he required the opinion across the borders then others should indulge until we reach the "best" scenario where mutual understanding is seen without spoken
You have a point. I think I would like to tag people, and also invite the membership in general to comment, otherwise even posting it makes no sense.

Thanks for the logic check. Silly of me to have missed it.
 

Hithchiker

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You have a point. I think I would like to tag people, and also invite the membership in general to comment, otherwise even posting it makes no sense.

Thanks for the logic check. Silly of me to have missed it.
Thank you for being magnanimous
 

Scorpion

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We all can agree to disagree and move on. No need to get low and start labelling each other or picking on each other. We all have our own shortcomings however, we should not be banned from having all sort of discussions with the intent to understand others point of view not for stereotyping and defamation purposes. I myself sometimes say stuff that I find later to be offensive and then try to retreat. After all not all of us are well informed about what is considered offensive to others and what not. Some people might be considering some discussions to be offensive while others see them as something worthy of discussing. I happened to travel to many places and having a talk with everyone and I welcomed people talking to me about issues within my society like for example women behind the wheels banning (not anymore luckily) and I would hear all sort of words e.ge women's rights...ect but I took at as an opportunity to explain to those people in a way that would they understand the position and guess what? once they hear about it from me they started to feel embarrassed on how little they know about others. I used to switch to the defensive mode but I was not achieving anything. After all what be a norm in your own society is not in many places. Having said that doesn't mean name calling, insulting, bashing and defaming others is welcomed. We all are mature enough to show mutual respect on a personal level regardless if we agree or not.

My 2cents
 

Hithchiker

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Magnanimous? Mean-hearted, small-minded me? You're joking, right?
hahahaha no: [ "Magnanimous= generous or forgiving ,especially towards a rival or less powerful person." Might be my dictionary is not that good...It was in sense of appreciation ..Never knew it counts in other meaning too
 
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Joe Shearer

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hahahaha no: [ "Magnanimous= generous or forgiving ,especially towards a rival or less powerful person." Might be my dictionary is not that good...It was in sense of appreciation ..Never knew it counts in other meaning too
Generous? Forgiving?

I'll have you know I'm the original snake-in-the-grass, and I have character (or no-character) witnesses, on this forum itself!!!


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